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Rule 9: You must always stand and march when “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” plays and sing along with Whovians everywhere.
Rule 10: All Hail Sue from Catering.
Rule 17: Until you became a Whovian, you’d never heard of “Trock” music…Now you’ll never get enough.
Rule 33: Alienating your friends until they watch Doctor Who is a necessary evil…only then will they understand.
Rule 50: Comparing everything to Doctor Who is completely normal and accepted.
Rule 54: “Allons-y” and “Geronimo” are acceptable battle cries.
Rule 59: “Lots of planets have a North.”
Rule 69: It’s DOCTOR Who…not Dr. Who…never abbreviate Doctor!
Rule 79: Everything and anything can be a Doctor Who reference.
Rule 115: ‘Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey’ is an appropriate response to any question and is not an arguable point.
Rule 116: “Go to your room” will always be terrible last words.
Rule 117: Respect the thing.
Rule 120: All that I’ll ever need to know in life I will have learned from Doctor Who.
Rule 121: It’s perfectly acceptable to look for a blue box police box when you go outside.
Rule 122: When something doesn’t make sense, go poke it with a stick.
Rule 138: The United Kingdom is where everything happens. EVERYTHING. And American Whovians will always be annoyed by this.
Rule 141: Everything has its time…and everything ends…(even the run of your favorite Doctor)
Rule 145: Always wait five and a half hours.
Rule 147: It is perfectly acceptable to get your knowledge of history from the adventures of a 900 year old Time Lord.
Rule 150: Dreams are important. Never underestimate them.
Rule 151: Rest is for the weary. Sleep is for the dead.
Rule 152: Mobile phones have more uses than calling and texting. (Like engaging Cybermen emotions.)Rule 160: It’s perfectly acceptable to use the word “sonic” as a verb.
Rule 1: The Doctor Lies
Rule 4: The first Doctor you watch will be your favorite…except for the weird case of “David Tennant Fever”.
Rule 35: The world doesn’t end because the Doctor dances.
Rule 37: The Doctor is usually the first to argue with History.
Rule 38: Bowties are, and always will be cool!
Rule 39: Fezzes are cool!
Rule 40: Stetsons are cool!
Rule 41: Bunk beds are cool. It’s a bed…with a ladder!
Rule 45: Always wear brainy specs-they make you look clever.
Rule 47: The Doctor’s clothes are appropriate in any time and place.
Rule 75: “For a time traveling alien, the Doctor sure spends a lot of time in modern London”
Rule 86: This man is “The Doctor” not “Doctor Who”. Therefore, it is acceptable to correct others if they get it wrong.
Rule 88: The best gift you can give is air from your lungs.
Rule 90: The Doctor is in charge.
Rule 91: He’s not “The Professor”. He’s “The Doctor”.
Rule 92: If the Doctor ever holds out his hand to you, you take it…and you RUN!
Rule 93: It is common courtesy, when put under arrest, to step into a police box and arrest yourself.
Rule 98: “Stop talking, brain thinking, hush!” is appropriate in MANY situations…
Rule 99: When it comes to guns…the Doctor would NEVER.
Rule 100: 3D glasses aren’t for movies, they’re for seeing Void Stuff.
Rule 101: “Well” is an appropriate response to almost any situation.
Rule 102: Sometimes the Doctor needs someone to stop him
Rule 112: Don’t diss the sonic
Rule 113: Never knock four times.
Rule 114: The Doctor doesn’t look human. We look Time Lord.
Rule 125: New teeth are weird.
Rule 126: 3D glasses aren’t just for movies.
Rule 127: When wacky stuffs going on, the safest place is next to the Doctor.
Rule 128: When in doubt, go barefoot; you’ll look daft with just one shoe.
Rule 136: Three I’s in one breath make you sound very egotistical
Rule 140: The Doctor will never be ginger.
Rule 146: Your lover may be the King of France, but he’s the Lord of Time.
Rule 157: Striped scarves, celery, Converse, bowties, fezzes, and generally anything the Doctor wears will always be “cool.”
Rule 161: The Doctor will teach you some very valuable life lessons. For example: you can’t wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet.
Rule 164: The Master cannot kill the Doctor without humiliating him first.
Rule 165: If the celery turns purple, eat the celery. (If anything, surely it’s good for your teeth.)
Rule 166: If you’re going to die, you might as well die in style.Rule 170: The Doctor doesn’t land on Sundays. Sundays are boring.
Rule 3: Don’t be surprised if you find yourself gazing longingly at the sky, ears straining to hear the distant sounds of the TARDIS…this is normal.
Rule 13: The TARDIS must always be called “Sexy” in private
Rule 16: TARDIS blue will become one of your favorite colors.
Rule 26: The TARDIS isn’t really supposed to make that noise. The Doctor just leaves the brakes on.
Rule 89: It’s okay to leave the TARDIS brakes on if they make a cool sound.
Rule 131: It’s okay to notice it’s bigger on the inside.
Rule 2: Doctor Who makes everything better…except Doomsday…that’ll just make you feel worse.
Rule 15: Doomsday will always make you cry
Rule 23: It’s okay to cry when you hear the word “canary”
Rule 36: When the Doctor kissed the Matron in “Family of Blood”, I (you) still wished it was Rose.
Rule 67: “I’m burning up a sun just to say goodbye” can be an acceptable replacement for “I love you.”
Rule 133: Rose isn’t dead. She is alive, so alive.
Rule 52: You still call Mickey an “Idiot” even if he did turn into a BAMF.
Rule 162: You CAN save the universe with a big yellow truck.
Rule 163: You can learn to adequately fly a zepplin on a playstation.
Rule 171: Mickey may be the man in Havana and the technical support…but really, he’s the tin dog.
Rule 19: Captain Jack no longer represents a pirate, but an immortal ex-Time Agent…
Rule 28: “Captain Jack Harkness” is a come on.
Rule 55: Don’t try to figure out how the Face of Boe became only a head. It’s a secret Jack would never tell.
Rule 58: Captain Jack Harkness will have you at Hello.
Rule 65: being in total shock when you find out that Jack is the Face of Boe is completely normal.
Rule 87: It’s perfectly normal to be sexually frustrated after meeting Captain Jack Harkness.
Rule 118: It is never okay to hate on Martha Jones just because she isn’t Rose Tyler. She may not be Rose, but she does offer the Doctor a lot of support and help when he needs it.
Rule 18: “Oi” will always remind you of the brilliant Donna Noble…
Rule 24: Don’t question it, just Turn Left
Rule 119: Donna Noble is the most important woman in the universe.
Rule 149: Donna’s leaving the Doctor will always be the saddest because she will never remember her adventures.
Rule 11: Every plot hole can be plugged with the word “Spoilers”.
Rule 95: Killing people is wrong. Unless you’re River Song.
Rule 25: It is wrong to ship Amy/11
Rule 135: Never trust mother-in-lawsRule 159: It will always be the night before your wedding.
Rule 21: Rory Williams > Chuck Norris
Rule 31: Torchwood is real. They produce Doctor Who to make audiences believe it is all fictional.
Rule 124: Torchwood is the Doctor’s enemy.
Rule 8: Thou shalt never speak a word against Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. He was the greatest man that the Doctor ever knew.
Rule 14: Don’t wander off…bad things happen when you wander off.
Rule 29: Being nice to the Doctor is not a prerequisite for surviving the episode.
Rule 104: It doesn’t matter if you’re old, fat, and blue. If you own the Doctor a favour, he will come to collect.
Rule 111: Everyone knows who Harriet Jones is.
Rule 132: Friends leave, but they’re always your friends.
Rule 137: There’s always something to live for.
Rule 155: A K-9 truly is a man’s best friend.
Rule 156: It’s completely acceptable to be so emotionally invested in one-episode companions that you cry for days.
Rule 20: Never blink when near a statue
Rule 27: There’s nothing creepier than a weeping angel.
Rule 56: The Statue of Liberty is a Weeping Angel, only she never moves because people are always looking at her.
Rule 80: See winged statue?
Either a.) Don’t blink or b.) Fall to the ground crying, because let’s face it. You don’t stand a chance.
Rule 103: Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead.
Rule 48: Stay out of the shadows
Rule 63: Always count the shadows…if it’s double, you’re dead.
Rule 70: A library is a forest. Beware…because the Vashta Nerada still live in its trees.
Rule 51: It’s okay to poke at the mannequins in the department stores. How else can you be sure that they are not Autons.
Rule 62: Remember you can’t shoot Sontarans…
Rule 130: Stair are no appropriate safety measures againts the Daleks.
Rule 153: This is a “Dalek” not “Metaltron.” (Wrong fandom, moron.)
Rule 154: Refusing to wear Bluetooth because they look like Cybus Earpods is perfectly normal.
Rule 158: They say to “never trust a nun, never trust a nurse, and never trust a cat.” Beware the Sisters of Plentitude.
Rule 60: Christopher Eccleston will always be the most unappreciated Doctor.
Rule 12: David Tennant in a kilt is one of the most erotic photos you will ever see…
Matt Smith & Karen Gilliam
Rule 110: #SecretlyMarried
Rule 5: Moffat is a Troll. In fact, he’s King of the Trolls.
Rule 6: Moffat is a sadist.
Rule 7: “Moffat!” is an acceptable curse in some situations.
Rule 34: The Moffat “Specials” are among some of the best.
Rule 139: Trust in the Moff! He will not lead you astray!
Rule 22: Remember this…the Royal Family isn’t exactly as they seem
Rule 30: “Bad Wolf” is something much worse than a character from a fairy tale…
Rule 46: When you see cracks in the wall it makes you want to scream and hide.
Rule 53: Unopened fob watches will make you rethink the word “fiction”.
Rule 57: You do not, ever, under any circumstances discuss the series 4 finale, including the Christmas special finale. None. Never. No, seriously, you can risk drowning in Whovian tears. It’s just not cool.
Rule 61: If you’re going to die, die looking like a Peruvian Folk Band.
Rule 71: If you see something move in the mirror from the corner of your eye, always assume it is Sister of Mine.
Rule 72: Never underestimate the power of a Jammy Dodger.
Rule 73: You can’t let your mind wander when using psychic paper.
Rule 77: Only show up at weddings for the dancing.
Rule 78: Bananas are good.
Rule 81: Always waste time when you don’t have any…Time is not the boss of you!
Rule 82: Never run when you’re scared.
Rule 83: Never knowingly be serious.
Rule 84: You must always check the clocks when you enter a room to make sure they’re the only thing ticking…
Rule 94: Time can be rewritten.
Rule 105: Always bring a banana to a party.
Rule 106: Sharing Jelly Babies is not only polite, but it might save your life.
Rule 107: Bendy straws add a little more fizz to any drink.
Rule 108: When it goes “ding”, there’s stuff.
Rule 109: A water pistol is a valuable weapon.
Rule 168: Time is not the boss of you.
Rule 169: Books are the best weapons in the world.
Rule 134: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy, in which case, always ignore a coincidence.
Rule 143: Eldrad must live.
Rule 144: The Quest is the Quest.
Rule 49: Christmas isn’t the same without an alien invasion.
Rule 64: Christmas trees are violent
Rule 68: Everyone is important.
Rule 74: “Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.”
Rule 85: Don’t eat the snow. It could be Sycorax ash.
Rule 97: Snow will always have you asking yourself “what spaceship went and blew up in our atmosphere again?”
Rule 123: The Sycorax deserved to live.
Rule 129: You can hypnotize someone to walk like a chicken, or sing like Elvis, but you can’t hypnotize them to death.
Rule 148: You will spend a Christmas in London. It increases your chances of meeting the Doctor.
Rule 167: If you require the services of the Doctor…Make a Wish.
Rule 32: It’s perfect okay to own a sonic screwdriver.
Rule 66: it’s perfectly normal to wear things with Doctor Who on them as a way to meet fellow Whovians.
Rule 76: The Doctor Who soundtracks will always be better than the radio.
Rule 96: It’s perfectly normal to take up knitting or crocheting just to make the 4th Doctor’s scarf.
Rule 142: It is totally acceptable to spend all your money on Doctor Who merchandise.